Category Archives: Society & Culture

Keep the PJs on the QT

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Even though I sometimes think I am, I’m really not that old. I’m turning 46 a week from today. But, there are times like this morning when I feel old. No, it wasn’t because of an achy back or shoulders that felt as hard as Jillian Michael’s abs. (Not that I’d know anything about her abs personally.) I felt old because of flannel pajamas. These were not my flannel pajamas, mind you. They were on a woman going into Walgreen’s yesterday morning. Yes, you heard that right. A GROWN WOMAN THOUGHT IT WAS OKAY TO WEAR HER PAJAMAS IN PUBLIC.

When did this become okay? I’ve never been so tired, hung over or lazy to feel that being seen in public in sleepy-time plaid was appropriate. As I watched Van Winkle (my nickname for our Walgreen’s shopper) lock her car door and walk slowly into the store, a couple of questions popped into my mind:

1.     Did she think these were actual pants and not pajamas? If that’s the case, I shudder at the thought of what she thinks is “appropriate work attire”.

2.     Did she not think anyone would notice? How do you convince yourself to leave the house in your pajamas? I imagine the conversation with herself would go something like this:

 “It’s early. There probably won’t be anyone out.” (It was 9 A.M., at a mall, just outside San Francisco. It’s not like she was in Amish country without a horse and buggy.)

“So what if I’m in my pajamas? You know what passes for clothing at the Pride parade. At least I’m not bare-assed in chaps!” (Pride is in June in San Francisco. This is Daly City in August. There is no rainbow flag and you, honey, are not a leather man.)

 3.     Did she not have anyone in her life who could dissuade her? If I ever even momentarily toyed with the idea of “SWP” (aka, “Shopping While PJ’d”), one of the following people would have shamed me out of it:

Mother: This is a woman who once designed an outfit around underwear and had to buy everything else to match and coordinate. Do you think she’d let me out of the house in my pajamas? Not even if I was wearing matching slippers, I’ll tell you that!

Gay Male Friend: Many women, straight or gay, have or have had gay men in their lives. And these men would never let you out of the house in pajamas, especially flannel. There are some lesbian friends who might. (Insert “lesbian wearing flannel joke” HERE.) I can hear the voice of a friend from college named Freddie right now: “Girl, don’t even think about it. Those pajamas make my eyebrows hurt. Get back in the damn house and change!”

I was tempted to follow Van Winkle around Walgreen’s and observe her to see if she exhibited any other signs of inappropriate behavior. I decided against it because (a) That’s kind of stalkerish and it would be embarrassing to be arrested for stalking someone wearing pajamas in public; and (b) I looked down and noticed her feet. She was wearing flip-flops. This is another pet peeve. Unless you’re going to the beach, put some damn shoes on.

So, I lost sight of Van Winkle and waited in line in the pharmacy department. In front of me was a woman with actual pants on. All is not lost! There is hope for civilization! But then, I noticed her feet. She was wearing slippers. Nooooooo! But you know what was even worse? They totally clashed with her pants. Oh, the humanity!

The Costco Commentary

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I have a love/hate relationship with Costco. What’s not to love about 36 rolls of toilet paper and ginormous jars of peanut butter? But what I hate are my fellow shoppers. Whether I’m at Costco or anywhere else, I shop like a man. I don’t stroll. I have a list and a purpose. Get in, get out of my way, and go home.

One key to surviving a trip to Costco is to get there early. By doing this, you can avoid the masses clogging every aisle desperate to get a sample of some food or another. Are you really that hungry? I mean, if you can afford Costco, you can afford to buy some damn food, you mooch! Besides, if you’ve had one kebab, you’ve had them all.

I’m beginning to think that Costco is the new “hip” place for retirees to mingle. Aside from gathering around the communal sample trough, you can find senior citizens chatting with old pals in the pharmacy department. Whether it’s commiserating over colonoscopies or harping about heartburn, Costco is the place to be and be bitchy for the over 70 set.

Costco is like other places in the summer when it comes to children. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE AND THEY ARE IN YOUR WAY. I think Costco could make a fortune if they offered on-site daycare. Stop those little rugrats from screaming and running down the aisles and stick them in a room with some books and toys you couldn’t sell and everybody’s happy. Hey, you can feed the kids the damn food samples!

My most recent pilgrimage to the Church of Costco wasn’t too bad on the whole, aside from the damage to my checking account. I didn’t hit anyone in the shins with my cart (though it was very tempting) and surprisingly, there wasn’t a long line to pay. I did wonder where everyone was, however. Then I remembered. They were gulping down gouda and goldfish crackers in aisle five.

You Play to Win the Game

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Back in 2002 when he was the head coach of the New York Jets, Herman Edwards uttered this line and his sentiment really resonated with me in light of the coverage of the defeat of the U.S. Women’s National Team in the World Cup Final. I was puzzled and annoyed by the coverage of their loss mainly because it seemed patronizing. The fact that the U.S. team failed to capitalize on multiple scoring opportunities in the first half, lost a lead twice, committed sloppy errors that led to Japan’s scores and totally broke down during penalty kicks was absent in the coverage. It was all hearts and flowers about their wins over Brazil and France. Don’t get me wrong. Those were great wins and there is no doubt that the U.S. team did wonders for women’s sports, especially soccer, here in the U.S. All you have to do is look at the ratings.

But, if the goal of playing is winning, they failed. Why are people so afraid to say that? I think it’s because no one, especially men, wants to be accused of being a sexist. The fastest, easiest way to shut down debate is to call someone either (a) racist, (b) homophobic, or (c) sexist. By pointing out that they failed to win the game doesn’t mean that they are failures as human beings or that their run in the tournament was a failure. Anyone with common sense knows that. Are female athletes so fragile that they need protection from criticism? Hardly. Female athletes are strong in body, mind and spirit, just like their male counterparts and they deserve to be praised and criticized by the same standards.

Finally, someone said just this very thing. On the July 19, 2011 episode of Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel, host Bryant Gumbel delivered a spot-on commentary. I don’t always agree with Mr. Gumbel, but he said everything I was thinking after the World Cup Final. I applaud him for facing the slings and arrows he’s sure to receive for daring not to parrot the politically correct party line.

Nutella It Like It Is

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Every once in awhile, a commercial comes along that annoys me beyond words. Well, maybe not beyond words, since I’m now blogging about it. But, you get the idea. This Nutella commercial is the current target of my advertising angst. We see a harried Mom of three oozing gratitude that Nutella came into her life. Now she can give her family “a breakfast they’ll want to eat” and she can feel good “that they’re ready to tackle the day”. Really? You popped toast in the toaster, slathered chocolate and hazelnut on it and threw it in front of your kids. Wow, you are SO getting the mother of the year award!

I don’t have kids and have no idea how difficult it is to get them fed, clothed and out the door every day. But, still, is this what we’ve devolved into? I can tell you this, if my mother had sent me out the door with toast and a spread for my “nutritious” breakfast, the neighbors would have called Child Protective Services.

But, you know, maybe I need to not take things so seriously. It’s just a commercial after all. I should look for the lighter side of life. Like this. Ah, parody always makes me feel so much better.

Mastery versus Mollycoddling

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This article in the July 18, 2011 New York Times posits the idea that today’s “safety first” playgrounds harm children more in the long run than any injuries they could suffer if the playgrounds were less safe. As someone who wrote a paper in college defending cartoons and by extension, their violence, as important to a child’s development, it shouldn’t surprise you that I agree with the conclusion by Norwegian psychologists Dr. Ellen Sandseter and Dr. Leif Kennair.

I’ve noticed a dramatic change when in comes to kids and sports since my early school days in the 1970s. The playgrounds of my youth were full of metal slides that baked in the afternoon sun, monkey bars that were either placed over concrete or if there was sand, you had to watch out for the hypodermic needles lurking just below the surface. Today’s playgrounds are all rounded edges and plastic. Sure, the kids don’t get a boo boo, but what is this protectionism setting them up for?

 Ask this same question about the trend in youth sports to give every kid a trophy just for participating. I’m sorry, but the main purpose of engaging in sports is not to falsely build self-esteem. It’s to provide an opportunity for mastery. Yes, you want kids to have fun and feel good about themselves, but does that mean that disappointment or defeat should be banned from their experience? If a child never learns how to handle defeat and disappointment, how is little Johnny or Jane supposed to deal with criticism from a boss?

A clue may be found in this piece from the Wall Street Journal in 2008. When little Johnny and Jane enter the workforce, they often feel entitled and expect praise from the get-go. These “Millennials”, who were generally born between 1980 and 2001, were pampered and indulged by their Baby Boomer parents from birth. If this isn’t karmic irony, I don’t know what is. To this early Generation X’er (born in 1965), the Baby Boomers can come across as spoiled, ungrateful brats who took all the goodies their Greatest Generation parents gave them and threw it in their faces. To now complain about working with the Millennials they spawned is disingenuous, albeit amusing.

Granted, not every Millennial is an entitled slacker, not every Baby Boomer is a spoiled whiner, and not every Gen X’er is as insightful (or humble!) as yours truly. But, the overall point about whether we are cultivating a culture of healthy empowered individuals or one of coddled, over-protected wimps is worthy of discussion.