Ho, Ho, Hum?

(Text inside reads, “Yeah, yeah. Merry Christmas…Whatever.”)

This Christmas card sums up my mood this year perfectly. And this isn’t how I usually feel. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. When I was a kid, I’d play Christmas music in July because I just couldn’t wait for December to arrive. This is why I’m puzzled about my lack of Christmas cheer this year. Oh, sure, the tree is decorated, my shopping and wrapping are done and I have the Christmas movies ready for the DVD player. But, something is missing. I’m not going to pull a “Bah, humbug!” on you, but the sentiments of “Santa Claws” above seem to be mine as well.

Let me say up front that I hate feeling this way about Christmas. I want to be excited and happy but so far, I’m not feeling it. I think a lot of it has to do with how challenging this year has been. As some of you know, my mother underwent major back surgery and had a couple of other minor procedures done. I hurt my back while taking care of her and then I was fired. 2011 has felt like a never-ending exercise in crisis management and I haven’t always handled the stress very well.

As a result, I haven’t been in the “merry-making mood”. Picture Jimmy Stewart in the first part of It’s a Wonderful Life (sans the suicide angle) and that’s how I’ve been feeling. I want to shake it off, but so far I’ve been unsuccessful. Maybe the time has come for me to put It’s a Wonderful Life in the DVD player and really take it to heart. We all need to be reminded of the impact we have on the lives of others especially when we’re feeling like we don’t matter much at all.

So, with wishes for internal and external peace for myself and for all of you, I leave you with the scene that never ceases to make me cry every time I watch it. For some reason, when Harry says, “To my big brother George, the richest man in town”, I cry like a baby. Here’s to discovering just how truly “rich” we really are. May we all find peace and love this holiday season.

4 thoughts on “Ho, Ho, Hum?

  1. Kelly, I’ve been feeling much the same way. I really wanted to start our Christmas letter with “It’s been one hell of a year!” but opted not. Like you, I’ve done all the shopping, decorating, wrapping and so forth and I’m just not feeling it. Not sure what is making me feel worse: life’s stress or not feeling merry. I think the holidays tend to magnify everything. . . or something. Just know you are not alone in your Hohumness. Have a glass of wine. Enjoy a quiet moment. Take care of yourself. 🙂

  2. Thanks, ffig. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been feeling the same malaise but it is comforting to know that I’m not alone or going crazy. You’re right. The holidays do magnify things, for better or worse.

    I wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas and here’s to a much better 2012.

  3. I hope you feel better soon Kelly. Life is one big cycle, so remember it’s just another ‘season’… Wishing you peace my friend xo

  4. Thanks, my friend. You are correct that this too shall pass. I’ll give you a call before the New Year. Merry Christmas to you and Chris!

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