College of Marin Drama Department “Comedy of Errors” Press Release

College of Marin Drama Department Presents The Comedy of Errors

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

January 7, 2015

KENTFIELD, CA – The College of Marin (COM) Drama Department presents William Shakespeare’s hilarious farce, The Comedy of Errors as the final fundraising production celebrating the department’s 50-year anniversary. This entertaining and accessible work was the first play ever presented at the College in 1964. Directed by COM’s own, James Dunn, The Comedy of Errors is full of chase sequences, mistaken identities, ridiculous brawls and so much more.

“When I think of The Comedy of Errors, I can’t help but appreciate the historical clinic on comedy that is pressed within its pages,” said College of Marin’s Chair of Drama, Lisa Morse. “You can see the humor of Plautus, stock characters of Commedia dell’arte, and the contemporary sit-com all rolled into one production.”

CALENDAR INFORMATION:

WHAT:
The Comedy of Errors, Final Fundraising Event for the College of Marin Drama Department

WHO:
Written by William Shakespeare
Directed by James Dunn

WHEN:
March 5*, 6, 7, 13, 14, 20 and 21 – 7:30 p.m.
March 15** and 22 – 2 p.m.

WHERE:
James Dunn Theatre, Performing Arts Building
Kentfield Campus
(Corner of Sir Francis Drake Blvd. and Laurel Avenue, Kentfield)

ADMISSION:
Non-subscription single ticket prices: $20 general, $15 seniors, $10 students/COM employees and alumni

*Pay-what-you-will preview
**Talkback with the director
Proceeds to benefit the College of Marin Drama Department

DIRECTOR BIOGRAPHY:

James Dunn: Students have studied with Jim Dunn since he founded the College of Marin Drama Department in 1964. Jim taught full time for 30 years, and continues to teach on a part-time basis.  He served as Chair of the Drama Department until 1994, directing more than 250 plays.  Among his most notable is a 1971 Wild West production of Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, which was performed at the Edinburgh Festival in Scotland.  To the delight of students and audiences alike, Jim continues to teach Shakespeare and direct spring productions. 

During his tenure at the College, Jim received several honors, most notably, San Francisco Bay Area Theatre Critic’s Circle SFBATCC Awards for Directing, the Los Angeles Dramalogue Award for Directing, and the San Francisco Dramalogue Award for Directing.  He was also nominated for the Hayward Award for Excellence in Teaching and received an Award for Outstanding Contribution to the Arts in Marin County from the Marin County Cultural Society.  He also received a Milly Award for Achievement in Theatre Arts from the City of Mill Valley, California.  Jim was honored to receive the 2012 Heroes of Marin Lifetime Achievement Award granted by the Pacific Sun and the Lifetime Achievement Directing Award from the SFBATCC. In 2012 the Board of Trustees unanimously approved the dedication of the College of Marin’s – James Dunn Theatre in recognition of his commitment and achievement.

Outside of the College, Dunn was the artistic director of the Marin County Mountain Play for 30 years.  He has also worked as a visiting director at the American Conservatory Theatre in San Francisco, the Old Globe Theatre in San Diego, Denver Center for the Arts in Colorado, the Julliard School in New York, the Marin Shakespeare Festival, and the Marin Theatre Company.

ABOUT COM DRAMA DEPARTMENT:

College of Marin Drama productions have entertained audiences for 50 years while providing students opportunities to study with professional instructors. Support of this production and others enables the Department to continue the mission of educating students and enriching the community.

Fundraising money from last year allowed the COM Drama Department to finish this year’s season of shows but without a budget increase, the Department must rely on public support more than ever going forward.

College of Marin Drama Department Retrospective Exhibition Press Release

College of Marin Drama Department Presents Retrospective Gallery Exhibition Fundraiser Commemorating 50 Years of Performances

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
January 7, 2015

KENTFIELD, CA – As a fundraiser for the College of Marin (COM) Drama Department, a retrospective gallery exhibition celebrating 50 years of performances will be open to the public.

This exhibition is a true multimedia event featuring almost 3,000 photographs, a collection of hundreds of reviews and programs, audio clips featuring directors, actors and set designers, and video clips of past performances.

Former students and faculty can travel back in time and find themselves as they walk through the gallery and celebrate their contributions to the department’s history. Current students and faculty can learn about the legacy they are carrying on.

“The idea for the 50 year retrospective was born out of the desire to reflect on the accomplishments of the students, faculty, and program as we hit this landmark Golden Anniversary,” said College of Marin’s Chair of Drama, Lisa Morse. “This gallery show celebrates the alumni who have participated over the years and the current students who are continuing a tradition of excellence that has become the hallmark of this program. It is a celebration about THEM. Without the students and their hard work and dedication, we would not have a program”

 CALENDAR INFORMATION:

WHAT:
Retrospective Exhibition, Special Fundraiser for the College of Marin Drama Department

WHEN:
March 6 – March 22
Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

WHERE:
Fine Arts Gallery
Performing Arts Building, Kentfield Campus
835 College Avenue
Kentfield, CA 94904 

ADMISSION:
Admission is free, but contributions are appreciated. Historical photographs will be available for purchase and all proceeds will benefit the COM Drama Department.

EXHIBITION TEAM BIOGRAPHIES:

James Dunn: Students have studied with Jim Dunn since he founded the College of Marin Drama Department in 1964. Jim taught full time for 30 years, and continues to teach on a part-time basis.  He served as Chair of the Drama Department until 1994, directing more than 250 plays.  Among his most notable is a 1971 Wild West production of Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, which was performed at the Edinburgh Festival in Scotland.  To the delight of students and audiences alike, Jim continues to teach Shakespeare and direct spring productions.

During his tenure at the College, Jim received several honors, most notably, San Francisco Bay Area Theatre Critic’s Circle (SFBATCC) Awards for Directing, the Los Angeles Dramalogue Award for Directing, and the San Francisco Dramalogue Award for Directing.  He was also nominated for the Hayward Award for Excellence in Teaching and received an Award for Outstanding Contribution to the Arts in Marin County from the Marin County Cultural Society.  He also received a Milly Award for Achievement in Theatre Arts from the City of Mill Valley, California. Jim was honored to receive the 2012 Heroes of Marin Lifetime Achievement Award granted by the Pacific Sun and the Lifetime Achievement Directing Award from the SFBATCC. In 2012 the Board of Trustees unanimously approved the dedication of the College of Marin’s – James Dunn Theatre in recognition of his commitment and achievement.

Outside of the College, Dunn was the artistic director of the Marin County Mountain Play for 30 years.  He has also worked as a visiting director at the American Conservatory Theatre in San Francisco, the Old Globe Theatre in San Diego, Denver Center for the Arts in Colorado, the Julliard School in New York, the Marin Shakespeare Festival, and the Marin Theatre Company.

Ron Krempetz: Ron has been the scenic designer for over 200 productions at the College of Marin since 1970. He is currently an Adjunct Instructor of Drama teaching Stage Craft and Scenic Design.

With a B.A. and M.A. from San Jose State University, Ron began his teaching career at Boise State University in 1968 and returned to the Bay Area two years later. In addition to his work at COM, Ron has created sets for many professional, educational and amateur theatre companies including: The Mountain Play, San Francisco Ballet, Marin Theatre Company, Porchlight Theatre Company, Ross Valley Players, Napa Valley Community College and numerous independent theatre productions. Outside of theatre, Ron has created theatrical environments for both retail and tradeshow clients throughout the United States and around the world, and has earned awards for both industrial and theatre projects.

Ron is responsible for combing through and organizing the department’s massive catalogue of photographs, programs, reviews, posters and videos for this exhibition.

Patricia Polen: Patricia Polen has designed over 100 shows for both professional and academic theater in her 39 years as a costume designer, receiving several SFBATCC Awards along the way. In addition to her design work, she teaches Production Stagecraft, Production Preparation for Costume and Hair, Production Crew, Stage Makeup: Theory and Practice, and Introduction to Theatre. She also works as a make-up artist for the San Francisco Opera and is the Wig and Make-up Designer/Supervisor for the Portland Opera. She has a growing interest in the design and construction of puppets and hopes to share that interest in future productions.

David White: David White has been the technical director at COM since 1986. In the five years between his high school graduation and employment at the College, David worked in the Bay Area professional theatre world, learning new techniques and honing his stagecraft. In his many years at COM, David has built, lit, and sometimes even costumed, well over 100 shows. During his summer vacations, David works for a design-build firm constructing displays for the California State Fair. He has received numerous awards for these displays, including “Best of Show”.

ABOUT COM DRAMA DEPARTMENT:
College of Marin Drama productions have entertained audiences for 50 years while providing students opportunities to study with professional instructors. Support of this production and others enables the Department to continue the mission of educating students and enriching the community.

Fundraising money from last year allowed the COM Drama Department to finish this year’s season of shows but without a budget increase, the Department must rely on public support more than ever going forward.

College of Marin Drama Department “Love Letters” Fundraiser Press Release

College of Marin Drama Department Presents Special Valentine’s Fundraiser Performance of Love Letters

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

January 6, 2015

KENTFIELD, CA – As a celebration of Valentine’s Day weekend and as a fundraiser for the College of Marin (COM) Drama Department, a limited engagement of A.R. Gurney’s Love Letters will be performed, starring James Dunn and Anne Ripley. Directed by Robert Wilson, Love Letters is a universal love story that speaks to the lost art of the written word.

Love Letters does what we’re told a good play should – it holds a mirror up to nature,” said Director Robert Wilson. “The audience becomes involved through the humor, embarrassments, conflicts, confessions and touching love revealed through a lifetime of correspondence between a complicated, but most appealing, couple. Because it touches everyone, it has endured and becomes fresh with each re-telling.”

CALENDAR INFORMATION:

WHAT:
Love Letters, Special Fundraiser for the College of Marin Drama Department

WHO:
Written by A.R. Gurney
Directed by Robert Wilson
Starring James Dunn and Anne Ripley

WHEN:
February 13* (Preview), 7:30 p.m.
February 14**, 7:30 p.m.
February 15**, 2 p.m.

WHERE:
Studio Theatre, Performing Arts Building
Kentfield Campus
(Corner of Sir Francis Drake Blvd. and Laurel Avenue, Kentfield)

ADMISSION:
*Suggested donation: $10
**Suggested donation: $25
Proceeds to benefit the College of Marin Drama Department

TICKETS:
Please contact Kim Foulger, 415.485.9555 or kim.foulger@marin.edu to reserve your seats.

ARTIST BIOGRAPHIES:

Robert Wilson (Director): Robert Wilson’s theatre experience began at the College of Marin 30 years ago, as a backstage go-fer, and subsequently as a student actor in such shows as Death of a Salesman, The Caine Mutiny Court Martial, Our Town, and most recently, in Detective Story.

Bob was stage manager for a number of COM productions. He attended drama department classes as a part-time student for a number of years and then moved on to full-time involvement in local Bay Area theatres with Marin Opera, Marin Civic Light Opera, Altarena Playhouse, The Masquers, The Mountain Play, and Ross Valley Players. 

His experience includes performing, stage management, directing, and theatre administration.  At RVP, he has directed 19 productions, and initially directed James Dunn and Anne Ripley in Love Letters in 1994.  He has received San Francisco Bay Area Critics Circle (SFBATCC) awards as both an actor and a director.  

James Dunn (Andrew Makepeace Ladd III): Students have studied with Jim Dunn since he founded the College of Marin Drama Department in 1964. Jim taught full time for 30 years, and continues to teach on a part-time basis.  He served as Chair of the Drama Department until 1994, directing more than 250 plays.  Among his most notable is a 1971 Wild West production of Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, which was performed at the Edinburgh Festival in Scotland.  To the delight of students and audiences alike, Jim continues to teach Shakespeare and direct spring productions. 

During his tenure at the College, Jim received several honors, most notably, several SFBATCC Awards for Directing, the Los Angeles Dramalogue Award for Directing, and the San Francisco Dramalogue Award for Directing.  He was also nominated for the Hayward Award for Excellence in Teaching and received an Award for Outstanding Contribution to the Arts in Marin County from the Marin County Cultural Society.  He also received a Milly Award for Achievement in Theatre Arts from the City of Mill Valley, California.  Jim was honored to receive the 2012 Heroes of Marin Lifetime Achievement Award granted by the Pacific Sun and the Lifetime Achievement Directing Award from the SFBATCC. In 2012 the Board of Trustees unanimously approved the dedication of the College of Marin’s – James Dunn Theatre in recognition of his commitment and achievement.

Outside of the College, Dunn was the artistic director of the Marin County Mountain Play for 30 years.  He has also worked as a visiting director at the American Conservatory Theatre in San Francisco, the Old Globe Theatre in San Diego, Denver Center for the Arts in Colorado, the Julliard School in New York, the Marin Shakespeare Festival, and the Marin Theatre Company.

Anne Ripley: (Melissa Gardner): Anne’s most recent role was at Ross Valley Players, as Lady Dalrymple in Persuasion.  Other roles at RVP include Mrs. Graves in Enchanted April (nominated by SFBATCC for best principal), Daisy in Driving Miss Daisy, Ethel Thayer in On Golden Pond, and Mrs. Warren in Mrs. Warren’s Profession

She also played Mrs. Sowerberry in Oliver!, Mrs. Higgins in My Fair Lady (nominated for an SFBATCC award) for the Mountain Play Association, Fräulein Schneider in Cabaret, and Mrs. Farragut in Detective Story at the College of Marin. 

One of her favorite roles is Melissa in Love Letters, which she has had the privilege of performing with James Dunn, both at RVP and in nine benefit performances for various charity organizations.  She is thrilled to be asked to do it again with Jim for this special engagement. 

ABOUT COM DRAMA DEPARTMENT:

College of Marin Performing Arts productions have entertained audiences for 50 years while providing students opportunities to study with professional instructors. In order to maintain and grow our performing arts programming, we are completing capital improvements to our performing arts facilities. These improvements require special gifts for technology and equipment upgrades. This limited engagement of Love Letters will help us achieve these goals.

“The Rain Shadow” Press Release

Bay Area Filmmakers to Develop NEW SERIES starring Homicide Hunter Star, Carl Marino 

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

December 7, 2014

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Carl Marino, star of the hit Investigation Discovery Channel series, Homicide Hunter: Lt. Joe Kenda, has announced he’ll be starring in and co-producing, a new one-hour drama, The Rain Shadow, in early 2015. Homicide Hunter, which was just picked up by Investigation Discovery for a fifth season, is currently broadcast in over 100 countries. The Rain Shadow tells the story of an outnumbered, and outgunned, small town sheriff (Marino), who is forced to turn to murder in order to stop a sinister element that has infiltrated his town. The series is being partly funded through Indiegogo.

Playing a sheriff comes naturally to Marino since he was a Deputy Sheriff in upstate New York for 17 years. Soon after relocating to San Jose, CA, he made his film debut in the independent film, Sedona’s Rule (2010). Almost immediately after, he was cast in the NBC show, Trauma (2009) that was filming in San Francisco. Since then, Marino has worked on, and been featured in, numerous feature films, network and cable television shows.Marino’s costar, Gretta Sosine, also resides in the Bay Area. Like Marino, Sosine appeared in Trauma, and has worked on Moneyball (2011), starring Brad Pitt, HBO’s Hemingway and Gelhorn (2012) starring Nicole Kidman and Clive Owen and various other projects.

Members of the production company also have Bay Area roots.  Director Trevor Adrian was born in Santa Cruz and studied with four-time Oscar winner, Mark Berger, at UC Berkeley. His short, The Stick Men, played at the Cannes Short Film Corner.

Producer Madeline DiMaggio moved to the Monterey Peninsula to raise her daughter and remained there for eighteen years while commuting to Los Angeles to work as a television writer.  DiMaggio worked as a contract writer for Paramount Studios in Pilot Development. She has written over 45 hours of produced prime time sitcoms, one-hour dramas, TV movies and features. While at Honest Engine films, she co-produced numerous independent features and documentaries, including Surviving Eden, starring Peter Dinklage and Jane Lynch. Currently, her cable movie, Profile for Murder, is running on the Lifetime Movie Network.

Technical Advisor Avram Walden was born in Santa Rosa and raised in Palo Alto and Mountain View. He studied computer science at Foothill College and is an IT specialist and freelance graphic and web designer.

Marketing and Social Media Coordinator Kelly Reiterman is a fourth-generation San Franciscan. She earned her B.A. in Radio-Television at San Francisco State University and has been working in marketing and social media since 2009.

For more information on the Indiegogo campaign, visit: http://igg.me/at/rstv.

Media Contact:
Trevor Adrian
Fellow Traveler Films
Email

KnowMe Explainer Video Script & Video

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NetworkIP ILD Explainer Video Script & Video

I wrote this script while working at RocketWheel Productions. The script and video were finalized and delivered to the client in July, 2013.

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Happiness Makes a Dull Blog

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Beatles fans, feel free to sing the title of this blog post to the melody of “Happiness is a Warm Gun”. You’re welcome.

As you can tell from the date of my last post, it’s been awhile since I mused about anything. I’ve realized something about myself during this time. It’s difficult for me to blog if I’m not either amused or annoyed at something. Sure, there are exceptions, like the death of my cat, Dini. That was neither amusing nor annoying. It was just plain sad and awful.

On the whole, my blog posts focus on things that make me laugh or make me livid. Pick a post, any post and see for yourself. This is not to say that I’ve been in some Zen-like “Om-y” blissful state. It’s just that in the face of bombings, political shenanigans or natural disasters, it’s hard to justify a tirade about yet another annoying television commercial or the actions of some attention-whoring celebrity.

The most shocking development of all is that I’ve been, well, happy. As I write that, I want to lower my voice and glance furtively over my shoulder. Any of my friends who read this blog could tell the rest of you that happiness is not a natural place for me to visit… kind of like Las Vegas or anywhere tropical.

I won’t go into the specifics of why I’m happier than usual. A girl has to maintain some mystery, after all. Sure, I constantly worry about money and needing more work, but overall, I wake up looking forward to each day instead of moaning like Glum in the Gulliver’s Travels cartoons from the late 1960s:

This is a new feeling for me and it’s throwing me off my game. I’ve often thought that being happy would pose a dilemma for me in terms of my writing and now it’s not just existential, coffee table conversation. It’s really happening! So, since I don’t want to stop being happy, I have to figure out how to conjure up some of my usual angst, woe or cynical snarkiness without turning into some unfortunate lovechild of Sylvia Plath and Bill Maher. Holy Love Connection from Hell, Batman! I think the eHarmony dude’s head just exploded.

R.I.P., Darling Dini

Pensive Dini

It was a month yesterday since I had to make the painful decision to put my 13 year-old cat Dini to sleep. She’d been battling some intestinal and other issues for awhile, but nothing that ever made me think that she wouldn’t be around for quite a long time. The weekend before I took her into the vet, she was listless and spending a lot of time alone. This wasn’t Dini. Dini was the most lovable cat I ever met. She adored being held, kissed and loved. She was not standoffish at all.

So, when I brought her in on that Monday, she had lost even more weight, was dehydrated and running a temperature. As the doctor was examining her, he discovered a mass between her kidneys that wasn’t there on her last visit in November. The x-ray showed just how large this mass was and the doctor suspected that it was an intestinal tumor. At her age, surgery would be risky and not guaranteed to be successful.

I knew what I had to do and it was one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever gone through. I petted her, talked to her and kissed her as the doctor administered the shot. A day hasn’t gone by that I don’t think about her, cry over the loss of her or expect to see her. Christmas will be especially hard because Dini loved lying under the Christmas tree.

From the minute I brought the tree up from under the house after Thanksgiving to when I took it down in January, Dini could be found under it rolling around on her back or batting a low-hanging ornament. This last Christmas, I literally had to block her from going under the tree while I was still putting it together. She actually put her paws up on my shoulder and tried to muscle her way past me. Here you can see her with Bella from a couple years ago.

Bella & Dini

Dini was born in the neighbor’s backyard. One day I spotted about four kittens jumping through the grass and plants as their mother looked on. Then, they were gone. Months later, one of the kittens came back. As soon as I could, I caught her and got her fixed. She got her name while recovering at the vet’s. Somehow when one of the assistants had the cage door open, Dini wiggled out and was lost in the office for a week. They left food out and eventually found her. The unnamed cat now had a proper name: Houdini, named after the famous magician.

She remained an outside cat for about a year until I was brave enough to try to introduce her to Bella. After a short time of Bella’s hissing, Dini settled in. She and Bella were sisters for the next 12 years.

I was really worried about Bella after Dini died. Would she get depressed? Would she stop eating? Luckily, her appetite has been very good and she seems okay. Sometimes it seems like she’s looking for Dini, but I’ve tried to give her a lot of extra love and attention.

People have asked me if I’ll get another cat, and I don’t think so. Bella is 15 years old and I hope that she lives a long time, but after she’s gone, I don’t plan on getting another pet. It’s too painful. I’ll content myself with loving other people’s pets. So, to all of you animal lovers out there, hold and kiss your babies even more. You never know when it will be the last time.

Rest in Peace, Dini. You were the best girl. I love you and miss you so much.

Just Like Yesterday

Two events this weekend remind me that sometimes things that happened a long time ago feel like they took place just yesterday. The first of these events occurred exactly 22 years ago today. On February 2, 1991, my Dad died of a heart attack. He was 56 years old and I was 25. This is a picture of us a little less than two years before at my graduation from San Francisco State University. At the time this picture was taken, he was newly sober and we were repairing our relationship. I was re-discovering the man that my mother said she married and the man that I had almost forgotten. This was the man who taught me to throw a baseball, to swing a bat and the man who took me to Giants games at the spur of the moment on a random school night, if my homework was done.

Dad&Me001

I had missed that man for too many years, but in the short time between 1989 and 1991, all the hurt and anger dissolved and we were enjoying each other’s company again. Needless to say, his death was quite a shock to both my mother and me. But, I’m so grateful for those two years. At least I didn’t have anger and guilt on top of my grief. He was okay. We were okay.

The second event is the appearance on Sunday of my hometown San Francisco Forty Niners in the Super Bowl for the first time since 1994. When I think of the Forty Niners, I also think of my Dad. When my Dad was watching a game, it sounded like five guys were in the room. I can clearly hear him yelling every time the offense tried to run a sweep and they failed or when Joe Montana connected with Freddie Solomon or Jerry Rice on a long pass. He hated most television announcers aside from Pat Summerall and John Madden. If Pat and John weren’t doing the game, he’d turn off the sound and listen to the great Lon Simmons on the radio.

Dad would often take part in football pools. I remember answering the phone many times and hearing the clink of bar glasses as some guy in a raspy voice would quickly ask, “Is Frank there?” And I, being a smart ass like my Dad, would say, “Dad! It’s Jimmy the Icepick for you!” He didn’t win very often but one year he won this Forty Niners jacket. He wore it all the time and I’ve kept it in the hall closet ever since he died.

Niner 2Niner1

My Dad died the week after the 1991 Super Bowl in which the New York Giants beat the Buffalo Bills. I didn’t know he had won money until he was dying in my arms. As we were waiting for the fire department and ambulance to arrive, my Dad was going in and out of consciousness and I was trying to keep him calm. My mother was a nervous wreck in the kitchen, asking if we’d need money at the hospital. Somehow my Dad heard her and whispered to me, “Money. Envelope. Desk.” He had just picked up his winnings the day before.

I thanked him and told him not to worry about us. He got very quiet and when the paramedics arrived and I moved out of the way, I knew he was gone. His face had turned gray and he wasn’t responding. He was declared dead an hour later at the hospital.

There hasn’t been a day over the past 22 years that I haven’t thought about him. I often wonder what he’d think of the current state of politics or how I’ve turned out. And I miss him every day, today and tomorrow especially. Maybe I’ll take the jacket out of the closet and slip it on for good luck on Sunday.

So Dad? If you have any pull up there, see what you can do about a Niners victory, okay?

Signs of the Apocalypse…I Mean, Aging

It’s a new year and many of us have once again written down resolutions to accomplish all the things we failed to achieve last year, the last five years, oh, Hell, EVER! But this isn’t a blog post about that. But, what I am going to talk about is related to time and how it passes. Today, my dear readers, I’m going to share with you a few of the ways that I’ve discovered that despite my protestations to the contrary, I am aging.

Oh sure, I’m hyper-conscious about my age at two specific points in the year: my birthday and New Year’s Eve. The former because, well, it’s a tangible marker in time glaring at you in black and white telling you just how old you are, and the latter because emotionally it reminds you with the infernal resolutions exercise, just how little you accomplished over the last year.

Recently, a couple of events triggered my realization that I’m just not as young as I used to be, so I decided to compose a list of the signs of aging. Are you ready?

You think of your past as the “good old days”:

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Admit it. You used to roll your eyes when you’d hear your parents wax nostalgic about their high school years. This was especially true if you were currently going through the high school equivalent of Lord of the Flies. Until recently, I looked back at the years 1979-1983 as the worst four years of my life. They were full of backstabbing, clique-conscious Catholic schoolgirls, ill-fated attempts to feel attracted to, and attractive for, boys and trying in vain to find that group of friends with whom you did and shared everything. Does this sound like an episode of Happy Days to you?

Imagine my surprise when I recently discussed these points with a new friend in the same matter-of-fact way as I did when voicing my disappointment when Pat Benatar went “soft” with synthesizers in the mid-80s or my ill-fated perm of 1982, which arose from my desire to look like Stevie Nicks. What had happened to me? Did I forget the pain of being the butt of teasing on the tennis team or feeling inferior because I lived in the “wrong” neighborhood and I didn’t have my own charge card at Nordstrom at the age of 16?

No. The answer was time. While my high school years were difficult, they were easy compared to the stress and angst of adulthood. Mean girls have nothing on death, money problems, health problems and career derailments. Bring on those “bad old/good old days”!

Your high school years are fodder for nostalgia: 

This goes hand-in-hand with the “good old days” phenomenon. It’s a moment that happens after about age 35 when you hear music you danced badly to in high school on the “classic rock” or “oldies” radio station. At first it shocks you, then it makes you angry and then you settle into self-righteousness.

The shock happens because you’ve managed to delude yourself that indeed high school wasn’t really that long ago. You’ve been able to do this by perhaps not going to any high school reunions, not keeping in touch with anyone from that time in your life or avoiding pictures of yourself with that tragic big hair, or the leg warmers. Hearing the Go-Gos singing “We Got the Beat” as the DJ discusses the possibility of their “reunion” tour snaps you out of your delusion.

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Then comes the anger. How dare your formative years be resigned to the cornball niche of nostalgia/oldies! Wasn’t that the realm of the tiresome, self-absorbed baby boomers who were always professing their generation as the most important, the most influential? The idea of being lumped in with those whiners was appalling! It was the fault of our youth-obsessed culture. These kids today.

Uh oh. You actually said the three words that make you know you’re not a kid anymore: THESE. KIDS. TODAY. You have now moved into…

Self-righteousness. Yes, indeed, my friends. You now have become as annoying as the baby boomers. You compare your music to the crap that the kids listen to now. All the music you thought you were too cool for back in the 80s (I’m looking at you, Spandau Ballet and Tears for Fears), now rates a teary sing-along by you when it comes on the radio. You scoff at the inability of young people to entertain themselves without aid of cell phones, videogames, iPads and the like. Don’t even get you started on writing out your high school papers on typewriters! Oh, the humanity!

You gauge the aging process by how often you need to color your hair: 

Now, the tangible signs of aging begin to appear. It’s one thing to have an existential crisis over music and television before cable. When you first see those grey hairs sprouting out of your head, it’s getting serious.

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I remember when my mother first started going grey. She asked me if she should start coloring it and I was adamant that she “age naturally and gracefully”.  The poor dear took the advice of a teenager. Luckily for her, though, her grey hairs have come in nicely and evenly, not like some women who get that shock of grey down the center of their hairline making them look like skunks a la Cruella Deville.

 

I wasn’t going to take that chance. In my late 30s, my stylist suggested highlights to “freshen up” my look. I think that’s code for “How can I tell her she’s getting old?” This worked for a couple of years and then she said, “You may want to start coloring if you don’t want to see the greys. They’re coming.” Like the fear of communists or aliens in the 1950s, I “ducked and covered” (i.e., ducked into the salon and covered those damn grey hairs). Currently, I only duck and cover every 7-8 weeks. My goal is to keep that schedule until I’m at least 50. So I have less than two years and counting.

You now need reading glasses: 

I’ve been nearsighted since I was 11 so I’m used to wearing glasses and contacts. But, I used to pride myself on being able to read the most minuscule print sans any assistance. Well, that has changed. I find myself teary-eyed and squinting if I try to read without aid of glasses or contacts and even with them, I’m now doing an excellent trombone imitation with my right arm in an attempt to achieve the right distance at which to read something.
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So, I shouldn’t have been shocked when my ophthalmologist gently suggested that perhaps I could use some “help” with a new prescription. This “help” came in the form of a “progressive bifocal” lens. Yes, bifocals. A word I only associated with old people. I think of bifocals the same way I think of those old hearing aid horns. They are the domain of the old. I have yet to fill the prescription, but my arm is getting quite tired of the trombone action and besides, if Brooke Shields can shill for Foster Grant and she’s my age, maybe it’s not so bad?

 

 

You wake up with mysterious pains: 

Remember when your body was practically rubber? You could stay up all night, sleep in the most contorted positions and wake up feeling fine? Well, those days are over. A couple days before Thanksgiving, I went to bed without any aches and pains but a mere six or so hours later, I woke up with my knee killing me! It wasn’t swollen but it hurt like Hell. It was stiff and tight and it pained me to walk up and down stairs and to stand for too long.

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What had happened while I was asleep? Did I sleepwalk and fall? No. Was I engaged in some tricky Kama Sutra move with some hot, young number? Ha. In my dreams. No, all I did was sleep. It’s now over a month and my knee still hurts. It’s better than it was but it’s not normal. I now understand when old people get together and discuss their ailments. It’s not because they have nothing better to discuss. It’s because they can’t believe this has happened to them. They used to be fine and then, bam! Mystery ailment.

 

So, to all of my fellow late baby boomers/early Gen Xers, I feel your pain, literally and figuratively. You are not alone and you are not crazy. You’re just aging. We can fight it with all the creams, dyes, hair plugs and Botox that we want but we can’t stop it. But, doesn’t that story of The Picture of Dorian Gray resonate with you more than when you read it back in high school?